Evaluating
by Micky Fine
Summary: CH. 3 UP! Sara evaluates her life after Nick gets the promotion GS
1. And the job goes to

TITLE: Evaluating

AUTHOR: Micky Fine

DISCLAIMER: We all know it but I'll say it anyway, I don't own the characters and I'm definitely not making any profit from my playtime.

SPOILERS: Eleven Angry Jurors and Butterflied

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This idea came after Eleven Angry Jurors but I didn't have time to write this until after Butterflied and since I liked that episode so much I decided to include it in here too. More parts will probably be forthcoming.

Reviews always welcome.

On her way to the break room to pick up her assignment for the day, Catherine was pulled to the side of the hall by Nick.

"Cat, what on earth happened while I was gone?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that since I came back Sara's looked totally shell-shocked..." he paused as Sara walked by. Catherine noted that Nick's description was accurate.

"...And Grissom has been brooding," he finished as Grissom also walked by, obviously in deep thought.

"I'm not sure," Catherine started, "but I think it's most likely the Debbie Marlin case that's thrown those two off."

"The Debbie Marlin case? The one you guys worked while I was gone? What's the big deal about it?"

"Let's just say that if you didn't know better you could swear that the body was Sara's."

"Really?"

"I swear she was nearly the spitting-image. Grissom was obsessed with the case and he couldn't stop working it. And Sara...Grissom tried to keep Sara from spending too much time with the body but she had to do some toe prints. After that, Sara hasn't quite been the same. I think she looked at the victim's face and seeing an almost mirror image of your face in the morgue cannot be good for anyone."

Nick nodded. He was about to ask about the case some more when Grissom stuck his head out of the break room.

"Are you guys planning on joining us soon?"

Nick and Catherine quickly scooted into the room and sat down.

Nick noted that Sara had sat where she was just out of Grissom's eye line, on the same side of the table with Warrick between them. She was seemingly engrossed in a file but when Grissom cleared his throat, she quickly slammed it shut.

"Alright, Warrick and Catherine, you two can take the DB found in the swimming pool at Caesar's," Grissom began, sliding the folder over to Catherine, who glanced at it quickly and then passed it to Warrick.

"Nick, you and I are working an attempted robbery at the bank on Lafayette Road and Sara..."

"Um, Grissom, I have some paperwork to do, so unless there's a really pressing case..."

"Actually, Sara, I don't have a case for you to work tonight, so you get to hold down the fort. Get Greg to help you out with some of your paperwork. He needs to know that being a field worker isn't all play."

Sara nodded.

"Ok, that's it everyone," Grissom said, pulling his papers together.

As everyone stood and started to leave the room, Grissom's voice suddenly rang out above the slight noise, "Nick and Sara, I want to see you two in my office for a few minutes."

Both of them nodded in acquiescence before Grissom left the room, which had suddenly been plagued with dead silence. Everyone knew what this meant. Grissom had finally decided who would get the promotion. Both Warrick and Catherine stared at the other two until Sara heaved a big sigh and walked out. Nick quickly scurried after her.

"I would so love to be one of Grissom's bugs right now," Catherine commented.

Warrick smirked and then left the room, with Catherine trailing behind.

Taking a deep breath to soothe her nerves, Sara walked into Grissom's office with Nick just behind her. She had been avoiding this room and the man behind the desk for several days now and it was somewhat disconcerting to be just where she didn't want to be. Grissom stood and closed the door after they had entered and gestured for them to sit in the two chairs opposite his desk.

"I'm sure you both know what this is about," he paused as they both nodded, "and before I tell you who received the promotion I want you both to know that I gave careful consideration to this decision. I had to do a great deal of evaluating of both your skills in the field and your skills with suspects, victims and other people associated with the case."

Nick felt his insides clench.

"I also want you both to know, that you are wonderful CSI's and you both are very deserving of this promotion. However, after much deliberation and with Cavello's consent I have decided...to give Nick the promotion."

As soon as Grissom uttered his decision, both men turned to look at Sara. Nick unable to feel any joy at his victory quite yet. Sara's face was unreadable for a moment as the information sunk in. Then a large smile split her face as she jumped up and gave Nick a hug.

"Congratulations," she murmured in his ear.

Nick felt relief welling up in his gut and he finally let his smile break out. After Sara let go, he shook Grissom's hand firmly.

"Thank you so much," he said with great delight.

"You're welcome, you deserve it," Grissom replied.

Nick stood for a moment as if he was unsure what exactly he was supposed to do now.

"Nick," Grissom said, "why don't you go tell everyone and I'll meet you out front in fifteen minutes."

"Great," Nick said, practically bouncing out of Grissom's office.

Sara made as if to follow him out but when she arrived at the door, she closed it instead of exiting.

"Grissom," she said quietly, "we need to talk."

Grissom noted that the joy that had been obvious before was no longer there.  He also noticed that she didn't turn to look at him, but spoke to the door instead.

"I..." she began.

"Sara, I want you to know that our personal relationship had absolutely nothing to do with my decision," Grissom interrupted, talking to Sara's back, hoping that she'd turn around.

She didn't, instead she continued talking to the door.

"I know. You're too professional to let anything like that influence your decision," there was no tone of mockery in her voice and Grissom knew she was speaking the absolute truth.

"So what do you want to talk about then?" Grissom asked.

At this question, Sara finally turned to look at him, "I'd like to request a leave of absence."

Somewhere in the base of his brain Grissom felt a sudden overwhelming fear that Sara was leaving and would never come back.

"Sara, are you really sure..."

"I'm not leaving forever," she interrupted, "it's just that right now I need some time to...evaluate everything."

"How long would you be gone?"

"I think a month would be good."

Despite his mental protest his mouth managed to say, "And when would you be leaving?"

"Well, today's Wednesday so I'll probably want to be ready to leave by Friday after work."

Grissom nodded in defeat, "Have the paperwork on my desk by the end of the day and I'll sign it."

"Thanks Grissom," she said, but Grissom noted that there was no joy in her voice, or relief. In fact, her voice was flat and as Grissom looked into her eyes he saw a hollow, haunting look that reflected a soul full of conflict.

As she got up to leave his office, she turned, "Oh Griss?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't tell anyone I'm leaving until after I'm gone. I don't want to have to deal with all of that."

"Sure."


	2. Leaving

TITLE: Evaluating

AUTHOR: Micky Fine

DISCLAIMER: see first chapter

SPOILERS: see first chapter

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry that this chapter is so short but there are more parts to come.

Reviews always welcome.

The next three days flew by for Sara as she finished up all her paperwork and made notes on the case she had started that would go to Nick. She had decided to spend the next month with her parents near San Francisco. It was relatively quiet there and she would have a chance to figure out where she wanted to go from here.

For Grissom, however, the days were too fast. He attempted to relish the last few moments he would be able to spend with Sara before she left. Deep inside he feared that after her evaluation of her life she would decide that she would be better off somewhere else. Away from Las Vegas. Away from him.

Grissom watched the clock with dread, fearing the moment when shift would be over and Sara would leave. However, despite all of his threats and pleading with Father Time, the good old father apparently didn't want to listen because at last the moment came. And when both hands of the clock came to their assigned places with a mockingly happy tick, like magic, Sara appeared at the door.

She looked cautiously around before entering and she stood silently for several moments, waiting to finish what he was working on.

Unknown to her, Grissom was working on absolutely nothing, except his nerve to look her in the eye. Finally drawing enough strength from somewhere he didn't know he had, he looked up into her brown eyes. Her sad brown eyes. Deep within their depths he could see her anticipation for being able to set everything right with herself. But sadness dominated. Was she sad because she was leaving him?

"Sara, please sit down."

"Thanks Griss, but I really don't have time. My flight leaves in two and a half hours and with all the hyped up security I really need to get to the airport."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you."

Grissom waited for her to continue and when she didn't, he looked at her expectantly.

"Would you walk me to my car?" she suddenly asked.

Grissom nodded. He grabbed his jacket and turned out the lights as they exited his office. Sara waited while he locked his office door and then she led the way down the hall to her car. When they finally stepped outside, Grissom noticed the pink light that edged the clouds. He feared the break of day, knowing that when the sun rose, Sara would be gone. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he hurried to catch up with her.

When they finally arrived at her car, Sara opened the passenger door and pulled out something very familiar to Grissom.

His plant.

The plant he had given her.

For one awful second he thought she was giving it back.

"Could watch this for me?" she asked quietly.

"Um, yeah, sure," he replied with audible relief.

"It's just, I can't really take it to San Francisco and I don't want it to die."

"I'm surprised you kept this," he murmured.

"Why wouldn't I? It's a very special plant," she replied softly.

Grissom felt a sad smile cross his face and saw a mirror smile appear on Sara's.

Breaking the stare, Sara looked down and began to rummage around in her purse and finally pulled out an envelope, which she handed to Grissom.

"Give this to Nick on Monday, ok? It's just a note explaining to him why I left. So he doesn't feel guilty, like he's the reason for my leaving."

Grissom nodded, sadly, feeling a small amount of guilt.

"You're not why I'm leaving either," she said softly.

Grissom looked up startled.  He tried to ask why she was leaving then, but couldn't figure out the right words and the moment quickly ended.

"Anyway," she stated briskly, "I should get going. I'm taking my laptop with me, so if you want you can email me."

She turned to walk to the driver's side but she whirled back around quickly and impulsively she threw her arms around Grissom's neck and gave him a hug. Automatically, his arms went around her waist and he was surprised by how right it felt to hold her in his arms. As she squeezed him tightly she whispered in his ear.

"I was there you know."  
"Where?" he whispered back.

"When you interviewed the doctor."

And with those words the embrace was over. Grissom's arms were empty, just as quickly as they had been filled.  Sara quickly hurried to the other side of the car and climbed in. She started the car as quickly as possible and sped out of the parking lot leaving Grissom staring after as she drove into the sunrise.


	3. Departures and Arrivals

TITLE: Evaluating

AUTHOR: Micky Fine

DISCLAIMER: See first chapter.

SPOILERS: See first chapter.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: First of all, thank you to everyone who gave reviews, they were most welcome. This is my first attempt at a non-violent, non-case related fic so all of the support is most appreciated. Next, I had it pointed out to me that having "emails" in fics (even if their in character) is apparently a taboo at fanfiction.net. So, although it won't affect this chapter, we're also going to say that Sara took her cell phone too. And she has an amazing cell phone plan so that she won't have to pay $50 for two minutes. I think that's everything. On with the fic.

Reviews always welcome.

*Tamales Bay, Saturday*

Sara slid out of the cab and soaked in the late morning sunshine before she turned to her house and her parents B&B. When she did, the sight of her mother and about twelve other people sitting on their front lawn doing yoga and breathing deeply greeted her. Watching her mother, she absent-mindedly paid the driver and collected her luggage from the trunk. She hadn't seen her mother in a couple of years and it surprised her how much the same her mother looked. Her straight, naturally blonde hair reached all the way down to the small of her back. Her thin, tall frame, which was at the moment twisted into a literal pretzel, didn't have a hint of fat or flab anywhere. Her dark eyes that matched Sara's own lit up when they finally lighted on Sara. The older woman quickly untwisted herself and jumped up, running to giver her daughter a hug.

"Sara!"

Sara wrapped her arms around her, "Hi Mom."

Finally letting go of her daughter, Sara's mother took a step back and then yelled at the top of her voice, "MARK!!! SARA'S HOME!!!"

A tall man, with dark hair and a closely shaven beard and a face structure similar Sara's appeared from the side of the house. Seeing that his daughter had indeed returned home, he jogged over in several lanky strides. He then swooped Sara up in a hug and swung her around. 

"Hi Sweetpea, I missed you."

Straightening her hair after being sent flying around, Sara rolled her eyes at the nickname but smiled.

"Hi Dad, I missed you too."

Her mother overflowing with joy quickly picked up one of Sara's suitcases, her father taking the other.

"C'mon, we have your room all set up. I'm sure you're tired between the flight and you're body clock being set for being awake at night."

"Thanks Mom," Sara said and then yawned. She hadn't really realized how tired she was until that moment.

As they walked past the twelve people sitting on the lawn, still twisted up in some odd shape Sara wasn't sure she would want to attempt she whispered to her mom, "What about your class?"

A look of remembrance crossed her face, "Oh yeah," then turning to the group she said, "Ok everyone, do the lotus until I come back."

Obediently the group all changed position into something that looked a little more comfortable to Sara's inexperienced eyes. They were all breathing deeply, and some of them were humming when she followed her parents into the house.

As she walked down the familiar hallway she breathed in the familiar scents of home. Proudly, her mother threw open Sara's bedroom door. Sara looked around in wonder. It appeared as if her parents had simply left her room the same as when Sara left. The only difference was that her bed was turned down and there were blackout curtains hung over the window. Sara smiled at her parents.

"Thanks for letting me stay here guys."

"No problem, what's home if not a place to come home to," her mom replied. Placing a peck on Sara's cheek she continued, "Now, you get some sleep and I'll come wake you later."

Sara's dad also placed a kiss on the top of her head and whispered, "Night, Sweetpea."

"Night," Sara murmured sleepily. After her parents closed the door she quickly put on her pj's and crawled into bed.

*Las Vegas, Monday*

Grissom walked into the break room with a room full of expectant faces to greet him. But there was one expectant face missing, the one he longed most to see. The one he wasn't going to see. With a resigned sigh, he called everyone to business.

"Ok guys, before we start working on cases today I have some important information to tell you."

Everyone looked at him curiously.

"Sara has decided to take a leave of absence for the next month."

There were several looks shot between Catherine, Warrick and Nick. From the moment Nick heard the announcement a look of guilt crossed his face.

"Nick," Grissom said quietly, causing the younger man to look up.

"She left this for you," he continued, handing the white envelope to Nick.

The newly promoted man quickly tore open the envelope and read its contents. The look of guilt left his face to be quickly replaced with sad sympathy.

"Is Sara coming back?" Catherine asked, the one question that hung in the air.

"She assures me she is...but I happen to know there are several labs across the country who are head-hunting. If Sara decides that she no longer wants to work here there are certainly many possibilities for her out there."

"Can we guilt her into coming back?" Nick asked, a shadow of a smile playing across his face.

A wry grin appeared on Grissom's face as he replied, "I'm not going to tell you not to."

Everyone grinned. Quickly, Grissom returned back to serious matters.

"Nick, Sara left notes for you on her double homicide. Catherine and Warrick, you two are to help Nick with Sara's cases when you can. Greg will be finishing up the last of Sara's paperwork. We're running one man short for the next month so there will be more work for all of us. I know we'll all miss Sara, but we've still got victims we need to help. Alright, let's go."

Everyone nodded and grabbing various file folders and papers they left the room. Everyone except for Grissom and Catherine. She stood for a long moment scrutinizing the expression on Grissom's face before she spoke.

"Was that pep talk for us or for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"It means that since you've come into work tonight you look like you've lost your best friend. Well, best friend may not be quite the right term."

"Catherine I've told you before that my relationship with Sara is purely professional."

"Un-huh, and I'm sure you were being totally professional when you hugged Sara in the parking lot last Friday."

Not bothering to ask how Catherine had seen that, Grissom immediately came to his own defense, "She hugged me first."

"This isn't third grade Gil. Besides, you were the one who was holding onto her for dear life."

Grissom opened his mouth to argue, but quickly closed it again. What was the point? She was right.

"Gil," Catherine said softer, "you need to tell her how you feel. Not just hint around it or assume she knows. You need to come out and say those three words you're so afraid to tell her. She won't hurt you, Gil. She's more afraid that you'll hurt her at this point."

"It's too late, Cat. I already hurt her."

"Fine, maybe you did, but I'm pretty sure she'll forgive you if you ask nicely."

"Ok, great," Grissom replied, his voice laced with sarcasm, "Let's say I decide to apologize and tell her how I feel. How am I supposed to do that when she's in Tamales Bay? That isn't something you just tell someone over the phone or in an email."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out Grissom. You're a smart man."


End file.
